I am sitting on my balcony just typing away. It is a beautiful seventy-five-degree evening in Milwaukee as the sun sets on the West side of my apartment complex. Three weeks ago I took my final exam and finished my junior year of college at Marquette. Unbelievable. I’m in awe as to how quickly these past three years have moved, even through COVID - my gap and commuting semesters — which I went through during my sophomore year. I turn 21 in two months.
Out of the three years of college I’ve had, this year I have learned the most about myself as a person. I feel like I have said that every year since starting college. However, each year is so different from the last. Three years ago, I learned the fundamentals of living on my own and tackling college; life beyond my hometown + parents, and how beautiful it was. Two years ago I discovered that it is okay, and sometimes a blessing, when a wrench is thrown in the road of life. My “stick to the playbook” mindset that I have had since I could walk did not always need to be in place. Sometimes the untraditional decisions are the best ones to make. That mentality still stands with me today, and has driven the things that I have uncovered about myself this past year.
As of May 2021, I truly can say that I have been “moved out” of my parents house. Each month I write a check to my landlord, and my roommate and I have made a three bedroom apartment next door to a funeral home our sanctuary. It is intriguing to me that I view this apartment on 21st and Wisconsin as such a home, despite the stereotypical college-living that I’m “supposed” to be experiencing right now.
Since moving in one year ago, I have taken what I have learned as a freshman living in a dorm and amped it up a bit, using my Sunday afternoons cleaning an apartment rather than a small section of a dorm room, and going to the grocery store to buy groceries rather than walking to the dining hall for my next meal.
I have taken what I have learned in my sophomore year and meshed it with the adult living that I experienced freshman year to construct who I have grown to be, and will continue to be beyond today.
My entire life I have lived such a calculated daily routine. From middle and high school all the way into my sophomore year of college, if my day did not go according to plan it was ruined. If I woke up later than 7AM, the day was wasted. My sophomore year of college I made the tough decision to cancel my housing plan for Schroeder Hall and take the semester off, working at Whistling Straights and Blackwolf Run full time serving beer and cocktails from a beverage cart.
Anxiety-ridden is how I would describe the decision to do that. How dare I leave college and work, falling behind on my degree? I made another hard decision to commute for the following semester, which was better than continuing to fall behind. Alas, it all worked out in my favor and for the better.
Through those decisions, I learned that it is okay to fall out of the straight line that I have planned on life being. Falling out of order is what I incorporated into my life each day during this past school year.
That brings me to today.
I am leaving my junior year with the best memories, friends, mental health, and way of living that I ever have had. Doing things on a whim became a typical routine of mine, if one could even call that a routine. I deem that stepping away from a routine is now part of mine. Don’t get me wrong, I love following a strict morning and night routine to settle myself before and after each day. When it comes to typical daily tasks and adventure, that is when I replaced sequence with timing.
“Time management” was always a huge phrase in my house growing up. My dad drilled into my head from a young age that as long as I had good time management, I can get everything that I need to done in a day. Making a todo list and timing out my day by the hour is what I had always thought that he meant by that. Really, I discovered that reorganizing my day as it moves is what time management really is.
Each morning I wake with a rough plan of things that I need to get done. Today, I had to work from 9-3, get to the gym, and update my resume. Freshman year Jaiden would have had been home from the gym and had her resume updated all before work at 9:00AM. That sounds great, and would leave the evening wide open, but that is not what had happened.
I slept in until 7:00AM because I knew that my body needed rest. I went for a morning walk to move my body for a bit, and then went to a Starbucks to work for the morning. I walked back during my lunch and read a chapter of Greenlights by Matthew McCounoughy because that is simply: what I wanted to do. I did not want to update my resume, I wanted to read. And so I did. I went to the gym at 3:00PM after my shift and then took a drive downtown through the beautiful summer night breeze.
This is where I’m going to pause to write about doing things on a whim. Adventuring. Exploring. Open-minded decision-making. Experiencing. These are all things that I rarely did in the past. I never would think of going for a drive to breathe in fresh air, sun setting behind me, listening to Harry’s House if this were three years ago. My mind would have been on my resume and getting it updated.
I was quite wrong and ever so close-minded then. I went for my drive tonight, cleared my mind, sang my heart out, AND picked up two sushi rolls from Thai-namyte. Then I came home and got my todo list done, and sat to begin this piece. I rearranged my schedule, inserted some time for myself, and got my stuff done when I could. And it’s only 7:24PM.
In addition to drives through the city, there are so many other things that I have done on a whim that have led me to so much more than sushi. I have gone on spontaneous walks with people that have led to some of the deepest conversations that I have ever had. I have joined in on a 45 minute virtual yoga class 50 minutes before my academic class began and have had some of the most mindful practices (and made it to class on time in leggings and a sports bra). I’ve gone from bathrobe to full outfit in 10 seconds and out the door in 30 to eat a vegan brat and drink an Old Fashioned with my roommate, and laughed so hard that I actually thought I was going to get sick. If I continued to give examples, this blog would be 11 pages long.
Untraditional decisions make for the best stories + memories. Stories are for other people to hear, while memories are something that only you hold internally. The memories, hobbies, friends, and experiences that I have gained this past year from choosing untraditional pathways is what made me discover who I truly am. I am outgoing, open-minded, willing, driven, determined, healthy, fun, spiritual, and loving — and that is just the beginning of the list. If I was asked one year ago if I would describe myself as any of those adjectives, the answer would have been “no.” And I would have probably said that on my way to the library at 8AM to get my homework done on a Saturday.
To continue: When I got back from my sushi run, I sat my butt on my balcony and updated my resume that I had a career coach (and former professor of mine) review. Then, I treated myself to a night of writing. As my fingers move across this keyboard at such a rapid pace, yes, I’d say it is a treat indeed. I got all that I needed to get done today done, just in a more mindful manner.
What else did I learn this year, huh? I learned that I had no work-life balance my entire life up until one year ago. I have grown up to know that work is life. When that is your lifestyle, it is an unhealthy one.
I have learned that there are enough hours in the day and more. There only aren’t enough hours when you don’t organize your schedule well enough.
My friends, my family, my professors, my bosses, and I — everybody — we all make mistakes. And that’s good. Mistakes make me grow.
I learned about being in a relationship again. For the first time in four years, I had a boyfriend. He taught me how to be a better listener and communicator in a relationship. That is something that I will carry on with me in every relationship from here on out, romantic or not.
I learned that yoga is magic for me.
I learned that I love academics and studies. I have ridden the wave of education throughout the last 16 years, but this year I realized that I love to learn. About anything.
I learned that some people that I've only known for nine months can be better friends than people I've known for nine years.
I learned to love the body that my soul inhabits. This body was given by God, chosen by my soul before I was even born. It moves me, it rests, it dances — I give it nothing but love in return.
The hardest thing that I have learned this year is that the cards will not always be in my favor. I can work my ass off all I want, but sometimes things will not fall into place at that specific moment. It just means that something else is coming down the way.
This last year I became a mature, soulful, free bird. I work hard and I do not let a minute of this life go to waste. On this Earth, I will continue to grow academically, spiritually, professionally, and personally.
There are endless emotions to feel, experiences to live, and goals to run after. There is always something out there. Above all this past year, I have learned that taking the road less traveled will lead to those feelings, moments of living, and accomplishments.